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栩栩若生第726章 恨绿色阅读_栩栩若生_顶点小说阅读网</title>
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第726章 恨[2/2页]</p>
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抬手捂住眼睛,我不知哪根神经不对,极其崩溃,“冲我来就好了呀,为什么曝光人家的隐私,杀人不够,还要诛心啊,是,千不该万不该都是我的错,谁让雪乔哥做了我的朋友,他真是到了八辈子的血霉有了我这么个妹妹!!”
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“姑……”
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纯良试图安慰,我挡开他的手,眼前竟然模糊不已。
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耳机那端静悄悄的,手机没有挂断,张君赫并未急着开口反驳什么。
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我深吸了几口气,突然觉得发疯的不是钟思彤,而应该是我!
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“张君赫,我曾经很怨恨天道不公,师父他们都以为,是因为我被偷了命格,所以我觉得不公平,但我总感觉这话哪里不对劲,可那时候我太小了,我思考不到很深一层的东西,直到今天,直到现在……”
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透过水光,我看着风挡外拥挤的车辆,“天道对我真的不公吗?没有吧,它一开始给了我很多东西啊,从妈妈怀上我的那刻起,老天爷就很眷顾我,他没有让我被药物侵袭,他让我平平安安的来到了人世,我的家人和睦,兄长家姐对我关爱有加,我家庭还很富裕,天道给了我很多呀,那我有什么资格,去叫嚣不公平呢?”
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我声音颤了颤,“我是被众人羡慕的呀,为什么我拥有的时候,我不去喊公不公平,失去了反而像是受到了薄待,我就没有想过,很多人,也许一开始就没拥有过吗?那我为什么还会痛恨呢?我痛恨的只是,你给我的时候,并不是我苦苦哀求得来,你拿走的时候,也没有问过我一丝一毫!!”
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“从始至终,我都被隔离在事件之外,我懵懵懂懂间就受到很多优待,又在莫名其妙时,被夺走了一切,我既然是个人,你们为什么不拿我当人看!!”
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我擦了把泪,“我求得只是公平,你拿我的东西,为什么还要步步紧逼,为什么还要我苟且偷生,为什么反过头要我去忍,仅仅是因为袁穷太厉害,我就要忍,我稍微不忍点,就有无辜者遭殃,你们踩我,踏我,还要消磨掉我最后的自尊,张君赫,你如果真的把我当成朋友,能不能拿我当个人去看?”
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“就算我是条狗,你发个慈悲打死我,也不要拔光我所有的牙齿,喂我稀饭,让我苟活,那样是好的吗?我爸妈生我一场,我没有尽到孝就算了,我还要匍匐在地上,拜那个夺走我一切的人,我做不到,我真的做不到,张君赫,求你表明立场吧,我宁愿你气势汹汹的过来要我命,也不要再说这些令我生不如死的话了……”
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纯良看不下去,直接按断了通话,回手递给我纸巾,轻拍了下我的背身,“姑,你别说了,对他来讲,大局就是要两边安稳,他只是想让你做橱窗里的洋娃娃,摆在那漂漂亮亮的就行,而你真正的灵魂想法,张君赫不是不懂,他只是不愿意跨出那一步。”
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我用纸巾按着眼睛,我也不想说啊。
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身体里好像有个开关,只要一触碰到,就会控制不住的爆发。
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很压抑。
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同袁穷对上的那一掌让我明白,现今的我,远不是他的对手。
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那我还要怎么努力呢?
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要下什么样的决心?
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我恨我自己无能。
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恨我只能被欺压。
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